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My
Dirty Little Secret
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David
and I have one chick left in the nest. He graduates from high
school on June 8, 2008. And I am marking the days. I keep
a gigantic calendar and mark a red X each day. For my son's
sake (and to avoid horrified looks from house guests), I keep
the calendar between the mattresses of my bed.
I'm
fully aware how bad this looks, so I will explain myself.
I LOVE MY KIDS! But, when June 8 rolls around, I will have
spent almost twenty five years of my life raising them.
I deserve this dirty little secret.
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This
callousness does not make me impervious to the emotional milestones
along the way. I recently received...
more
Gypsy Nester travel gear > >
Boomerang "Kids"
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I'm
an advice column junkie. I can't help it. I kick off my morning
with a frothy soy latte, my “Crack”berry and a heavy
dose of the “Dear crew”. When I'm lucky, I can persuade
David to play along with a game of “What would Abby do?”
If he's is in a particularly sporting mood, we can delve far
beneath the layers of the written word. What if the husband,
“Chip,” is really in need of Viagra, and is not,
in fact, having an affair as “Horny in Hoboken”
thinks? I What if the meddling mother-in-law, “Madge,”
has a point-- maybe “Good Mommy in Leavenworth”
is, indeed, a bad mommy. |
Normally, I
can convince myself that it is a game of good clean fun. The anonymity
of Chip, Madge and Horny are fascinating and comforting--these semi-fictitious
characters have problems too.
Today's column
was just plain disturbing. It involved a mother who is a newly
retired homeowner with an outstanding mortgage. Unless she was
the CEO of a major publicly traded corporation, this lady is on
a whopper of a fixed income. Now get this—she has two butthole
sons, aged 22 and 24, living in her home and she has asked them
to pitch in and pay $30 a week. “Stressed-Out Mom” says
that they are now “ranting and raving and calling her a bad
mother.” She goes on to ask if she is being unreasonable.
What?...
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Adventures
in Nest Swapping
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One
of the many advantages to having an empty nest is the freedom
to swap your nest with other adventurous types. Being in the
habit of Googling at the drop of a hat, we decided to take
the online approach to finding suitable exchanges. We looked
at several different sites, and chose homeexchange.com for
its ease of use and abundant choices from all over the globe.
For a small annual fee, one can peruse homes, set up destinations
to visit and receive e-mails when new opportunities become
available. |
We were looking
to make an extended visit to New York City to visit our fast-walking,
black-wearing, taxi-flagging urbanite daughters. Bunking with them
in their microscopic Manhattan flats or paying $500 a night for
a "cheap" hotel were out of the question. The hotel costs
alone would be enough for the down payment on Buckingham Palace...
Life
After Kids
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When
Veronica and I came up with the idea to write about life after
raising kids, and actually looking forward to it, one of the
first things I did was Google "empty nesters." I
wanted to see if anyone was looking at this the same way we
are. You know, isn’t it great that the kids have moved
out and we have life to ourselves again? To be untethered
and free to wander the globe. To be Gypsy nesters instead
of Empty nesters. But no, just about everything I could find
is lamenting how terrible it is
to not have the kids around anymore. |
The
main item on the first page I clicked into was an enormous ad for
an Alzheimer’s patch. Holy crap! We just finished raising our
kids, we’re not dead. If twenty some odd years of child rearing...
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