Tag Archives: change
A Tale of Two Flights
It was the best of planes, it was the worst of planes, that was our feeling after spending nearly thirty hours on two non-stop flights.The first one, United flight 895, from Chicago to Hong Kong clocked in at sixteen hours. Back when… CONTINUE READING >>
So I Broke Down and Tried Botox (please don’t judge me!)
I’m a squinter. Always have been. My Grandma used to caution me, “Quit doing that – your face will freeze that way!” In my twenties, David would affectionately tease me about my “worry line.” He would always know when something was amiss, all he had to do was look between my eyes.Fast forward thirty (or so) years and, still, I squint on. The squinting’s worst when I’m writing – I don’t even realized I’m doing it.
And Grandma was right, my face… CONTINUE READING >>
What Do the Experts Say About Boomerang Kids? It’s NOT what you think
Full-grown, twenty-something college graduates are returning home to have their parents continue supporting them due to “immaturity” or because “they just prefer the comforts of home?” And the expert’s take is that there is nothing wrong with that picture?Jaw, meet floor. Maybe there was some mistake. Maybe the expert, wasn’t clear on her meaning. We should give her the benefit of the doubt and look at the answers she and her fellow expert gave to some other pertinent questions. After all, they are on the staff at… CONTINUE READING >>
WHOA! Do You Ever Feel Invisible?
Exciting news! I am honored to have been chosen to be a debut video partner of WHOA! Network, an exciting new online video network dedicated to bringing out the best in women “of a certain age.”Here’s the scoop (and you can say you heard it here first!):
WHOA! Network has a simple concept at its core: Women should be seen and heard at every age and valued more as we get older, not less.
Makes sense, right?
Yet that’s not the case. In our… CONTINUE READING >>
Veronica is Interviewed on WHOA! Network
Here are the dynamic hosts of WHOA!, Darryle and Lynn, interviewing… CONTINUE READING >>
Un-nesting. Could it be Blissfully Real?
I’m constantly searching for material that dispels my internal anti-mantra, “You are a bad mommy. You shouldn’t be so happy that your children have left the nest. You are a bad…” In my latest frantic search, I came across a theory that I love. Un-nesting.Suzanne Koven, M.D. writes in her post for Psychology Today entitled “The Un-Nesting Instinct”:
“Celia’s story started out sounding pretty familiar-a cliché almost. She was fiftyish and going through menopause and, in addition to the weight gain and hot flashes, she found herself irritable and sad. Her children, she told me, were a particular source of sadness. “You mean because they’re growing up, moving away?” I asked. ‘No,’ answered Celia, ‘Because they’re… CONTINUE READING >>
We’re Too Old For This Crap
One of our top priorities when becoming gypsy — as opposed to empty — nesters was to use our new found freedom to see family and friends that we hadn’t been able to visit in years.
While finishing up our childrearing years on a Caribbean island a thousand miles from the mainland we were understandably limited in our opportunities to drop in on folks.
Now that we are unfettered, we have had the opportunity to reunite with quite a few of our old friends. In every case I’ve noticed… CONTINUE READING >>
Jousting with Middle Age
What is middle aged? I suppose we are implying the middle of our lifespan. So let’s say eighty years. That makes forty, give or take a few years, middle aged.
Ninety is certainly a possibility, so, forty-five. Some of us might even live to be 100, so I can even go as high as fifty.
After that it gets a little curious. Fifty-five? Well, people have lived to 110, so let’s call the late fifties the absolute top side of middle age.
If someone sixty-plus is going around claiming to be middle aged, basically they are declaring… CONTINUE READING >>
Post-Parting Depression: Saying Good-bye to My Adult Kids
I’ve got an issue and I need help! I’m hoping I’ll get a lot of suggestions on this post from our amazingly insightful readers.This past holiday season, we had a lot to celebrate. In addition to our typical yuletide festivities, we were blessed to celebrate my in-law’s 60th wedding anniversary two days after Christmas and our own 30th a week after the new year started.
As wonderful as it was to have such momentous events smack-in-the-middle of the holidays, it led to more good-byes to our adult kids than I’m normally used to.
Having The Spawn come and go in such short and hectic celebratory spurts gave me some interesting insight into how I deal with my empty nest good-byes.
Not well, it seems… CONTINUE READING >>
The Long and the Shorts of It All
When women get to be “of a certain age” questions of appropriateness inevitably rear their ugly heads. I think I have squarely hit that certain age. With a vengeance.My questions of appropriateness have actually turned into a LIST of questions of appropriateness:
Should I stop wearing shorts?
What about sleeveless blouses?
Is my hair too long?
When should I stop dying it?
Should I do something about my wrinkles? The shorts quandary is a tough one for me. It’s on the top… CONTINUE READING >>
Spice Up Your Holidays with a Tamale Party
Do you need some spice in your life? Here’s a festive holiday idea!Whether it’s a tamale party or your own special holiday tradition, please be sure to get together with family and friends this year.
Enjoy each other… CONTINUE READING >>
What’s Really Important: A Black Friday Antidote
I saw this quote and just had to share. It struck me that we may be losing sight on what is truly important this holiday season.Yesterday, in our post-turkey bloat, we grabbed the remote and David and I settled into something we rarely do: We vegged in front of the boob-tube.
Immediately we felt bombarded. The blaring onslaught of Black Friday ads was… CONTINUE READING >>
Bounce That Boomerang
The subject of Boomerang “Kids” has been in the news a lot lately, and the story we’re being sold is that poor, brave youngsters with new diplomas in hand have no choice but to move back into their old bedrooms at Mom and Dad’s house.
All sorts of numbers have been bandied about, some say a quarter of recent grads are unemployed or underemployed, others say half, and one completely unscientific study proclaiming the preposterous idea that 85 percent… CONTINUE READING >>
War & Peace, Volume II
A reader wrote:“The best part is when they finally get it, and tell you sorry for being such pain in the ass during those (teenage) years. My son told me he now understands everything I was trying to convey to his logic blocked brain back then…”
Oh man, I can relate.
I was pretty certain that at least one of my envelope-pushing teens would flee the nest — i-Pod at full… CONTINUE READING >>
Fear Conquering & Volunteering
What is it that makes us feel so passionate about life when we are helping others? There must be something more to volunteering than the oft said “it makes us feel good to DO good.” I believe it goes deeper.When the chicks fly the coop we lose the built-in community that comes with raising a brood. Gone are the sports team gatherings, the school plays and scout meetings. Entire peer groups disappear overnight. The phone calls requesting help sewing costumes, baking cookies and manning the snack shack come to a screeching halt. It can get kind of lonely… CONTINUE READING >>
Empty Nest Egg
It seems to me that a good number of folks who have boomerang “kids” may actually want them to return. But are we really doing our offspring any favors by allowing an indefinite extension of childhood?Let’s think about this. Where did you live when you were first starting out? I’ll bet it wasn’t quite the Taj Mahal.
Our first place was a one bedroom former screened-in porch that had all the weather proofing of the average wiffle ball. It was a veritable private zoo of insect vermin — and we were glad to have it… CONTINUE READING >>
"Delayed-Launch Period?" Really?
Uh. I can’t let this one go by. The Wall Street Journal has published an article entitled “Benefits of a Late Launch,” discussing a new book, “Not Quite Adults.”
I haven’t read the book and it’s going to take some time before I gather the fortitude to do so, as the subtitle is enough to make me cringe: “WHY 20-SOMETHINGS ARE CHOOSING A SLOWER PATH TO ADULTHOOD, AND WHY IT’S GOOD FOR EVERYONE.” I want to be clear that I am responding to the Journal article, not the book.
To be fair, before I go off on my own rant, I will cite the benefits as the Journal lays them out… CONTINUE READING >>
Oh My Stars!
Looking up at the night sky at an out-in-the-boondocks National Park sent my thoughts wandering, as only the night sky can. Then came a shocking thought:How long until we can no longer see the stars?
Sitting up and scanning the land around me I saw the bright dots from tiny little towns – and, alas, the Park itself – enough light pollution to hinder me from observing what The Ancients or Magella… CONTINUE READING >>
Fear Conquering & Writing A Will
In the union of David and I, I am the less fearless. David has always been the adventurer – I am the homebody, the helicopter mom, the worrier. Selling the nest and heading out into the big, wide world, for me, was stepping outside the box. WAY out of the box.My biggest concern was to have our affairs in order, in the event of my certain demise. It’s essential for me to be sure that the kids are not burdened when I go down in flames in a hang gliding / bungee jumping / snowboarding / street food eating episode… CONTINUE READING >>
Stick a Fork in Us, We’re Done!
Our youngest, The Boy, graduated from college on Saturday. He’s somehow managed to graduate with honors, all while holding down two jobs. We can’t imagine having that much energy. As parents, we couldn’t be prouder.In addition to the pride we feel for our son’s accomplishments, we have found other reasons to celebrate. This is the last year we’ll ever make a tuition payment, have an offspring on our medical insurance, or… CONTINUE READING >>
Top Ten Ways You Know Your Kid is Grown Up
10. You have Thanksgiving dinner at her home. You sneak the inedible parts to her dog.
9. He drops the F-bomb right in front of you. With no fear of an Ivory Soap sandwich.
8. You realize that you are sitting in the back seat. Of her car.
7. He cleans up after himself. While visiting your house!
6. She absentmindedly… CONTINUE READING >>
Who’s Kidding Who?
The last task of raising a child is letting them go. Allowing them to flap their cute little wings and fly… giving them a gentle nudge out of the nest to get them airborne. Ah yes, little birdies, spread your wings and fly. OK, sometimes it’s more like a hard shove off a cliff… but the harder transition from the parent-child relationship to an adult-to-adult one must be made.This process doesn’t happen overnight. The ritual sounds easy in theory, but it can be a bit sticky in practice. It’s difficult not to be mommy or daddy and even harder for the chicks not to revert… CONTINUE READING >>
Are Travel Agents Worth the Bother?
The nature of our travel style – what we call “traveling low to the ground” – does not conjure up images of luxury hotels, first class airline tickets and limousines. And for good reason. It’s not that we’re opposed to these things, in fact we quite like them, we just can’t see forking out the money for perks that don’t feel so perky when it comes time to pay the bill.We are suckers for every tip and trick that will save us money while traveling. After all, we have embarked on a roadtrip that can only last as long our bodies and our mutually agreed upon funds hold out. Therefore, we have vowed to stay in shape and be as frugal as possible.
Plane tickets are… CONTINUE READING >>
A Little Talked About Sign of Aging
Here’s the thing. My best features come from my Romanian roots. I’ve always enjoyed having dark hair and blue eyes. I am psyched that my “gray” hair is silver, some people pay big bucks for that. Dracula was Romanian, and by most accounts was a particularly handsome man-thing.
That being said, we Romanians are a very hairy people. My beloved Grandpa not only had follicles growing out of his ears, but in his later years his lobes looked like small woodland creatures. My stunningly gorgeous mother had quite the collection of… CONTINUE READING >>
Following the Freedom March in Alabama
It was a difficult few days for us as we were forced to confront thoughts and feelings that we would have much rather avoided. We addressed issues that many of us Americans would like to think have been completely resolved. But it seems to us that turning a blind eye is not the solution.The lesson we learned is that the light of day is best, because as much as this is fairly recent history, we were taken aback by how little we knew about the details. In Birmingham, the details are on display – front and center – and in Montgomery… CONTINUE READING >>
Grandchildish Behavior
I’ve had two unexpected conversations recently that have given me pause for reflection. The first was with my father-in-law while dining over Mexican food in Kansas. While catching him up with our kids’ lives, he asked me if they were dating anyone of note. I told him that at the moment there were no significant others. Then, the bolt out of the blue,
“Oh, you must be sad that you won’t be having grandchildren anytime soon.”
The next exchange was with my daughters, The Piglet and Decibel.
“All of our friends’ mothers are on crazy grandma patrol. How come you aren’t nagging us about having babies?”
It started out as gentle teasing, but… CONTINUE READING >>
