Tag Archives: pitfalls
What Do the Experts Say About Boomerang Kids? It’s NOT what you think
Full-grown, twenty-something college graduates are returning home to have their parents continue supporting them due to “immaturity” or because “they just prefer the comforts of home?” And the expert’s take is that there is nothing wrong with that picture?Jaw, meet floor. Maybe there was some mistake. Maybe the expert, wasn’t clear on her meaning. We should give her the benefit of the doubt and look at the answers she and her fellow expert gave to some other pertinent questions. After all, they are on the staff at… CONTINUE READING >>
The Yin and Yang of Parasite “Kids”
Mine! Mine! Mine!
David explores two UNBELIEVABLE stories of greed and selfishness!
Is there a special place in hell for offspring who steal from their elderly parents? Should offspring be required to take care of elderly parents no matter the circumstances? What steps can be taken to ensure that our families don’t end up like this?… CONTINUE READING >>
Jousting with Middle Age
What is middle aged? I suppose we are implying the middle of our lifespan. So let’s say eighty years. That makes forty, give or take a few years, middle aged.
Ninety is certainly a possibility, so, forty-five. Some of us might even live to be 100, so I can even go as high as fifty.
After that it gets a little curious. Fifty-five? Well, people have lived to 110, so let’s call the late fifties the absolute top side of middle age.
If someone sixty-plus is going around claiming to be middle aged, basically they are declaring… CONTINUE READING >>
Post-Parting Depression: Saying Good-bye to My Adult Kids
I’ve got an issue and I need help! I’m hoping I’ll get a lot of suggestions on this post from our amazingly insightful readers.This past holiday season, we had a lot to celebrate. In addition to our typical yuletide festivities, we were blessed to celebrate my in-law’s 60th wedding anniversary two days after Christmas and our own 30th a week after the new year started.
As wonderful as it was to have such momentous events smack-in-the-middle of the holidays, it led to more good-byes to our adult kids than I’m normally used to.
Having The Spawn come and go in such short and hectic celebratory spurts gave me some interesting insight into how I deal with my empty nest good-byes.
Not well, it seems… CONTINUE READING >>
If It Can Kill Me, It MUST Be Good
I like to flip through the channels when watching the evening news. The other night while practicing my thumb aerobics, I noticed that the exact same commercial was on two of the networks at the exact same time. That surprised me a bit.
What didn’t shock me was that it was an ad for a prescription drug.
So I decided to start paying attention. It seemed that at least half of the advertisements were for pharmaceuticals.
I also noticed that I must have at least half a dozen things seriously wrong with me and should be… CONTINUE READING >>
The Long and the Shorts of It All
When women get to be “of a certain age” questions of appropriateness inevitably rear their ugly heads. I think I have squarely hit that certain age. With a vengeance.My questions of appropriateness have actually turned into a LIST of questions of appropriateness:
Should I stop wearing shorts?
What about sleeveless blouses?
Is my hair too long?
When should I stop dying it?
Should I do something about my wrinkles? The shorts quandary is a tough one for me. It’s on the top… CONTINUE READING >>
Mom, Stop Coddling Me and Let Me Grow!
We have discussions about the parent / adult “kid” relationship quite frequently here at GypsyNester.com, but it’s quite rare that we get to hear the young adult point of view on our site, other than a few cherished comments in our discussion section.We don’t kid ourselves, we are aware that there aren’t a lot a twenty-something people who get up in the morning and think, hey, let’s see what the geezer set is up to this days.
So we felt pretty good when we came across “The Drawbacks of Being A Boomerang Kid” at YPULSE. In this story a recent college graduate affirms our position on adult offspring returning to the nest.
“Could it be that some … CONTINUE READING >>
You Brought Your MOM to Your Job Interview?
Okay, it’s rave time. Just a warning.I sympathize with helicopter parents, I really do. I was one. I reluctantly stopped hovering once my kids left the nest. I knew that the sovereignty of the Spawns was more important than my own desire to continue colonial rule. Trust me, we’ve ALL benefited from my abdication.
Did I hound my offspring to do their homework when they were kids? You Betcha. Did I have meetings with their high school guidance counselors to voice concerns without the Spawn present? Guilty… CONTINUE READING >>
Things We Wish We’d Known BEFORE We Sent Our Kids to College
With autumn upon us, many new empty nesters have sent a fledgling off to college for the first time. Here are some DOs and DON’Ts on how to get through that first semester without losing your mind. 1. Don’t start off on a bad note. It’s hard to let our kids go. The day our babies head out on their own is a tough one for any parent. Because of her self-awareness about her emotional outbursts, Veronica
… CONTINUE READING >>
Bounce That Boomerang
The subject of Boomerang “Kids” has been in the news a lot lately, and the story we’re being sold is that poor, brave youngsters with new diplomas in hand have no choice but to move back into their old bedrooms at Mom and Dad’s house.
All sorts of numbers have been bandied about, some say a quarter of recent grads are unemployed or underemployed, others say half, and one completely unscientific study proclaiming the preposterous idea that 85 percent… CONTINUE READING >>
War & Peace, Volume II
A reader wrote:“The best part is when they finally get it, and tell you sorry for being such pain in the ass during those (teenage) years. My son told me he now understands everything I was trying to convey to his logic blocked brain back then…”
Oh man, I can relate.
I was pretty certain that at least one of my envelope-pushing teens would flee the nest — i-Pod at full… CONTINUE READING >>
Get a Job!
Once again an article online got me thinking. While I don’t necessarily disagree with The Wall Street Journal‘s premise, the headline, Why Kids Today Have it Worse Than Their Parents (Ben Casselman), sure sounds whiney.But the meat of the article has some good infonuggets:
“Today’s 20-somethings are, broadly speaking, the children of the last of the Baby Boomers, those born in the late 1950s and early 1960s. That generation, like this one, came of age in the midst of a brutal recession: The unemployment rate for 18-24 year-olds topped 17% at the end of 1982. (In 2010, it briefly crossed 18%.)”
As a twenty-something back then, yeah, I remember that time well. Things were tight, but we got through it OK.
Now, having recently sent three newly-minted adults out into the world, I have firsthand experience of how both recessions have effected young adults. Lucky me.
It’s no secret that we believe… CONTINUE READING >>
The Old College Pry
How do we know when we’ve become too involved in our offspring’s college education?
Is it okay to call a professor about a dispute over a test score? Should we proofread their papers? Should we have access to their grades if we are paying tuition? Should we storm into the Dean’s office?
I interviewed some college professors and their stories will amaze you… CONTINUE READING >>
THE Talk
“I’m eighteen now, I can do what I want.”The dreaded time when the spawn are technically adults but still in high school. At that age, it would seem that “adult” means the freedom to head out and start being stupid at top speed.
The standard “Not in my house” or “As long as you live under my roof, you’ll abide by my rules” replies didn’t seem to sink in with our young ‘uns. In fact, I could almost see the heels digging in to the floor.
One day while driving our oldest, The Piglet, to school, I got fed up and burst out with what became known in our family as “THE Talk.” No, not THAT “the talk”, this one:… CONTINUE READING >>
"Delayed-Launch Period?" Really?
Uh. I can’t let this one go by. The Wall Street Journal has published an article entitled “Benefits of a Late Launch,” discussing a new book, “Not Quite Adults.”
I haven’t read the book and it’s going to take some time before I gather the fortitude to do so, as the subtitle is enough to make me cringe: “WHY 20-SOMETHINGS ARE CHOOSING A SLOWER PATH TO ADULTHOOD, AND WHY IT’S GOOD FOR EVERYONE.” I want to be clear that I am responding to the Journal article, not the book.
To be fair, before I go off on my own rant, I will cite the benefits as the Journal lays them out… CONTINUE READING >>
Boomerang "Kids"
A recent advice column I read was just plain disturbing.
It involved a mother who is a newly retired homeowner with an outstanding mortgage. Unless she was the CEO of a major publicly traded corporation, this lady is on a whopper of a fixed income.
Now get this – she has two sons, aged 22 and 24, living in her home and she has asked them to pitch in and pay $30 a week.
“Stressed-Out Mom” says that they are now “ranting and raving and calling her a bad… CONTINUE READING >>
A Little Talked About Sign of Aging
Here’s the thing. My best features come from my Romanian roots. I’ve always enjoyed having dark hair and blue eyes. I am psyched that my “gray” hair is silver, some people pay big bucks for that. Dracula was Romanian, and by most accounts was a particularly handsome man-thing.
That being said, we Romanians are a very hairy people. My beloved Grandpa not only had follicles growing out of his ears, but in his later years his lobes looked like small woodland creatures. My stunningly gorgeous mother had quite the collection of… CONTINUE READING >>
Boomerang “Kid” Econ 101
Economic recovery gets a boost from emptying the nest!“About 20 million adult children in the U.S. live with their parents, and most are eager to move, says Peter Francese, a demographic analyst for advertising agency Ogilvy & Mather.”
“‘Most guys who live at home beyond some young age walk around with a great big ‘L’ [for "loser"] on their forehead,’ Francese says.”
Could kicking out boomerang “kids” pull us out of this recession?
“When people move into a new home, they tend to spend. A typical new… CONTINUE READING >>
What in the World of Warcraft is This Guy Thinking?
One of our readers sent me an email that really touched me:
“I am not completely an empty nester unfortunately. My 20 year old son was not able to return to college this fall because of the lack of loans and grants available to him. So now he is doing nothing except for playing the computer game WoW (World of Warcraft) most of his waking hours. He did just purchase a small business that will make him a small living, but I pray he goes back to college. He is very bright and it would be such a waste if he didn’t.
Hannah”
Hannah, my heart… CONTINUE READING >>
Advice From Traveling Couples
Ever think of taking an extended journey with the one you love? Elise, one half of Positive World Travel for Nomadic Matt wrote this compelling article about three very different couples and how they cope with each other out on the road.You might even know one of them:
It has almost been… CONTINUE READING >>
When Hurricanes Blow
Our daughter, Decibel, spent a whopping twenty minutes at the college of her choice, Tulane University. She never attended a single class. It has to be the shortest college career in history.There was a storm a brewin‘. And it was a whopper.
On a beautiful August day, Decibel landed in New Orleans ready to take on the world. She was especially giddy since she had been chosen from the pool of incoming freshman in the Musical Theater program to sing at orientation — a high honor indeed. Not to mention instant… CONTINUE READING >>
HOliday HOmecoming HOopla
The holidays are fast approaching so now is a good time to explore some of the unique aspects of family gatherings for empty nesters.(A little note from the authors: When we refer to Christmas, please feel free to substitute Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus, Saturnalia, winter solstice or whatever it is you celebrate. We are only using Christmas as an example because it is our family tradition, and to keep from having to write three or four names every time we refer to a holiday. Absolutely no slight is intended or any preference for one over another. If your family is like ours, no doubt any one of them can be just as crazy as the next.)
Thanksgiving, Christmas or both… CONTINUE READING >>
Sphere Conquering
Near the little town of Oracle, Arizona, one of the world’s great experiments took place. When the Biosphere 2 experiment began, it caused such a stir that it became a part of pop culture, even getting a mention on Seinfeld, and nothing says “made it” like a Seinfeld reference.These jokes… CONTINUE READING >>
Honey, Who Are We Again?
I’ve read that one of biggest pitfalls to having kids is that couples tend to forget who they were prior to breeding (though I personally think the the loss of perky breasts is high on the list). As a Gypsy Nester, one who is looking forward to life after kids, I thought I’d share a secret.David and I offset this pitfall with “date nights”. Admittedly, most of our date nights were spent talking about the kids, ordering soda water to get the baby puke off my little black dress and worrying that the nanny cam may have malfunctioned. Difficult as it was to apply lipstick while avoiding chocolate covered toddlers… CONTINUE READING >>
The LIAT Airlines Experience
Traveling is certainly made easier when you heed the warnings of those who have gone before you. Especially when your path winds through the tangled Second World jungle that is “island time.” Laid back charm aside, island time can sometimes make the simplest plan mind-bogglingly complex. With the hope that you may avoid a major pitfall, the GypsyNesters relay this tale:
We arrived at the LIAT Airlines counter in the St. Croix airport the proper two hours early for a 30 minute flight eagerly anticipating our whirlwind 25th anniversary trip to St. Martin. Perhaps, in hindsight, we should have seen the possibility of things going awry when… CONTINUE READING >>
