Which Witch is Which? A True Salem Story

Salem, Massachusetts and witches are nearly synonymous but, in reality, it is highly doubtful there was any broom-flying, cauldron stirring, pointy hat wearing witchcraft actually going on back in 1692.

It seems a few young girls began to act strangely in what was one of America's busiest port cities and a hotbed of religious fundamentalism. Whether they were sick, drugged by fungus tainted grain or just looking for attention -- we'll never know. The convulsions they suffered could only be caused by witchcraft according to the Puritan minds of the late seventeenth century. Time to round up some of the usual suspects.

On March 1st, a beggar woman, a slave girl and a lady who dared not to regularly attend church services were hauled in and charged as witches. These three accused others and before long no one was beyond suspicion. Within a few months, sixty-two people had been arrested. By summer, the God-fearing folks of Salem were happily hanging folks on no more evidence than a few accusations, coerced confessions and the good old “touch test.” By the time September rolled around twenty people had been put to death. Many more died while in prison awaiting their "trials."

When eighty-year-old Giles Corey was arrested, he refused to enter a plea as a protest against the court's methods. Rather than hang Mr. Corey for daring to point out that the sanctimonious kangaroo court had run amuck, the pious Puritans decided to go with torture. Rocks were stacked on the octogenarian until he couldn't breath. Giles, being a true bad ass, survived for two days. He never entered a plea.

Perhaps old Giles Corey didn't die in vain. By October a few voices of opposition had begun to question the proceedings. By month's end, the Governor had prohibited further arrests and dissolved the court.

On closer inspection, the real reasons for the hysteria and brutality in Salem stemmed from a religious squabble between rival factions in the church and political pettifoggery between neighboring villages. Unhappy with the economic success of the harbor town, one rich family, the Putnams, decided to make a play for power. They separated from Salem Town by established a new church with a new minister in their home of Salem Village.

Since religious and political power were completely intertwined, this caused some rather sticky problems with tax collection and payment for the minister, Samuel Parris. Putnam and Parris needed to do away with some rivals and distract the populace. What better way than to hang some witches? There is no

better example for the need of the separation of church and state than the events that took place in Salem back in the late 1600's.

We fully admit we were drawn to Salem by its sordid past. However, we were horrified to see that tourist trap economics trumps ugly historical facts in Salem. The wholesale killing of dozens of innocent men, women and children has been translated into throwing up goofy Frankenstein and Dracula “museums,” wizard schools, ghost tours, bizarre street theater and a cheesy statue of Samantha from Bewitched. No kidding.

There are wonderful historical sites in this beautiful seaside town, including the famous House of Seven Gables that Nathaniel Hawthorne wrote of (go there -- the hidden passage alone is worth the price of admission!) and the old cemetery where several Mayflower passengers and many of the participants in the trails are laid to rest. Nearby, there is a memorial to the victims of the trials.

The Salem Witch Museum, housed in a church built and used in the 1700s, is one of the few “museums” in town that actually embraces historical fact with a minimal amount of sensationalism. Sadly, the bulk of the attractions run toward the Halloween-style stereotypes.

Altogether overshadowed by its infamous witch-related history is the fact that Salem was once one of North America's main seaports. The colony's early trade developed into huge business, mostly with the Far East.

Thankfully, the old harbor is being preserved by the National Parks Service as the Salem Maritime

National Historic Site. Many of the buildings are being refurbished and informative signs provide a guide while strolling along the gorgeous bay.

Directly across from the harbor we noticed a liquor store with a name that was a nod to Salem's old seafaring days -- The Bung Hole. Our only previous experience with the term “bung hole” had been as a slang term for the termination of the alimentary system, you know, the pooper, A-hole, bum, gluteus

maximus, OK, OK.... butt. But, it turns out the term actually refers to the hole in the booze barrels that the ships used to haul, which is plugged with a stopper called a “bung,” hence, the bung hole. This fine establishment seemed intent on educating the startled tourists with clever pictorial explanations, showing pictures of barrels and ships. But their gig was up when we discovered the T-shirts with “I Got It in the Bung Hole” emblazoned across the chest!

Though there is no evidence that real witches were conjuring up spells way back when, the modern variety have fully embraced Salem and are Wicca-ing away throughout the town. Dare we say it has become the Wicca Mecca? Sorry about that.

For us, the Wicca explosion in Salem falls into the same category as the cheesy tourist exploitation -- ignoring the actual history while

distracting from the real lesson to be learned from the Puritan mindset of the 1690's...

...don't ever let it happen again.

David & Veronica, GypsyNester.com

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